Forgiveness: The Heart of the Matter   by Tim Callaway   Rock 'n roll veteran Don Henley - perhaps best known as a founding member of the perennially popular country-rock band, The Eagles - scored a huge hit several years ago during his solo career with a song called "The Heart of the Matter."   Referring to a romantic relationship that had gone off the tracks and onto the rocks, Henley sang: "I got the call today that I didn't wanna hear, 'tho I knew that it would come; a dear old friend of ours' was talkin' on the phone, she said you'd found someone ..."   Repeating a refrain he says often produces dramatic responses from audiences wherever he sings the tune, Henley croons: "Been tryin' to get down to the heart of the matter, because the flesh will get weak and my thoughts seem to scatter; So I'm thinkin' about forgiveness, forgiveness, even if, even if, you don't love me anymore."   When the Eagles toured Alberta a few years ago, scores of appreciative fans approached the stage following Henley's performance of "The Heart of the Matter" to place bouquets of flowers and boxes of chocolates on the stage. Clearly, many people, if not most of us, can relate to the struggle that Henley sings about - learning to translate forgiveness from an idealistic concept into a practical reality.   Those who study human behaviour suggest that forgiving someone who has wronged us - ceasing to feel angry or resentful towards them - may be one of the most difficult tasks we are faced with in life. A more attractive choice seems to be to do what many members of our society do every day - just play Splitsville.   For example, actress Angelina Jolie of Tomb Raider fame says she doesn't have a clue why her marriage to actor/producer Billy Bob Thornton failed. She recently told People magazine their last interaction was a year ago June, admitting, "We got into a big fight. I haven't seen him since."   Spend a few moments watching TV shows like Entertainment Tonight or Inside Hollywood and you'll hear similar stories.   That doesn't mean such scenarios are unique to the glitz and glamour of the Hollywood scene. Unforgiveness is everywhere, and it's effecting the health of society.   Psychologists, behavioural counselors and medical doctors indicate that much of their time is taken up treating people who are suffering the effects of guilt, resentment and anger arising from unresolved conflict with others.   Although the preferred option for many today in dealing with relational problems is to simply try and walk away from them, it appears there are some things that are not so easily left behind.   In study results published a couple of years ago in Psychological Science, participants were asked to recall a real-life person who had hurt them and then react both in unforgiving and forgiving ways.   Unforgiving thoughts triggered stress responses such as higher blood pressure and faster heart rates. Forgiving thoughts resulted in milder stress responses. Researchers concluded that prolonged feelings of unforgiveness could be hazardous to one's health.   That's part of the reason why a few years ago, the John Marks Templeton Foundation earmarked a U.S. $10 million grant for research on forgiveness, a study that produced some informative results.   That research confirmed what many had suspected. Most North Americans consider forgiveness to be an act requiring some form of divine assistance. More than 80 per cent of respondents told a Gallup poll they believe it takes the help of God to show mercy.   Few people know the practical challenges of extending genuine forgiveness better than Rev. Dale and Diane Lang of Taber, Alberta. In a recently released book, Jason Has Been Shot! (Castle Quay Books), the Langs share how only God can author a genuine work of forgiveness in the human heart.   Shortly after an April 1999 mass murder-suicide at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado, a schoolmate gunned down the Langs' 17-year-old son, Jason, in the hallway of the local high school. Canadians were stunned as the truth slowly sank in that the kind of news we are accustomed to hearing out of the U.S. had taken place right here in a Canadian community.   With the assistance of the extensive media coverage given the tragedy in Taber, the Langs won the respect of an international audience by consistently affirming that they had forgiven the young man who had killed Jason and were concerned for his well-being. They also asked others to do the same.   "Our whole community experienced a healing because forgiveness came," Rev. Lang informed a gathering of students at Simon Fraser University in 2000.   Rev. Lang readily admits he would not have been able to forgive his son's killer 25 or so years ago. "I didn't know Jesus then and I would have wanted vengeance for Jason's death," he told Living Light News. Lang credits his faith in Jesus Christ for his ability and desire to forgive his son's killer.   "Without God's love I couldn't have forgiven that young man who shot our son. This is too painful a thing to do on your own. With God in my heart He has made it possible," Rev. Lang shares in a recent issue of Faith Today. "I've been set free from bitterness and anger and unforgiveness, and that's a wonderful gift."   The Bible says that God expects us to forgive offers because He is willing to forgive us. His Son Jesus Christ demonstrated that forgiveness on the cross.   "That's how much the Lord loves us. That's why we can be passionate for Jesus. It's out of that passionate relationship with Him that the love flows," Rev. Lang told Faith Today.   Rev. Lang explains that this life-changing relationship with Christ begins when we ask for God's forgiveness - the Bible says all of us fall short of His expectations - and accept the sacrifice Jesus made to let us off the hook. When we do, the power of God comes into our heart and starts to transform us inside.   "God makes it possible to love unlovable people," says Rev. Lang in Faith Today. "I am just an ordinary person, but inside me lives the great and awesome Lord, and He has made the difference." [LLN-Online] [Adopt-a-Block] [Newsbriefs][Event Calendar] [Lifestyles] [Juke Box] [Cover to Cover] [Movieguide][Casting the Net] [Viewpoints] [General Info] [Rates & Sizes][Marketplace/Classifieds] [Volunteer Ops] [Writing Guidelines] [Contact Us] [Subscribe][Archives][Good News] [About Us][Links]