In March 2003, Edmonton City Council made news across the continent when it passed a bylaw to outlaw school yard bullying. Under this new bylaw, anyone caught bullying in a public place could be fined as much as $250.
Though Edmonton was the first to take this step, it's not the only community where bullying is a major problem. Last year, Emmett Fralick of Halifax committed suicide rather than face the bullying at school. In November 1997, 14-year-old Reena Virk of Victoria died after being beaten by teenagers.
Author Frank Peretti knows what it's like to be a bully's victim. School, particularly Phys. Ed. class was a nightmare for him. In his book, The Wounded Spirit (W Publishing), he describes the torture he endured for most of his school life. "I was pushed, shoved, thrown, hit, insulted, badgered, manhandled, teased and harassed," he writes. His was a "wounded spirit."
Peretti was small for his age and a medical condition caused his tongue to protrude from his mouth. His tormentors focused on these two things. But as Peretti says, there doesn't have to be a particular reason for the torture.
"They pick on you because you're smaller, because you have a rare blood type, because you pick apples on your way home, you sing a particular song, you wear a particular sweater, you can't throw or catch a ball, you can't run fast, you don't have the right clothes, or simply because you're different."
What makes it even more difficult is that, in our society, usually the bully is protected. Victims are told, "It's part of growing up," or "Just ignore them," or "Nobody likes a snitch." So, most of the time, victims suck it up. They endure their pain in silence. Sometimes, it's worse - they take the same tragic route as Emmett. And worse yet, they become the bully and strike back.
It's been four years since the massacre at Columbine High, in Littleton, Colorado, where two teens went on a shooting rampage, leaving 15 dead. Frank Peretti believes what happened at the high school was the result of a "wounded spirit."
After that day, an anonymous teen spoke about what it's like to be on the fringes of the cool crowd. He would wake up with a knot in his stomach. He dreaded going to school. He would avoid certain hallways and even make his way to classes outside the school building to escape being ridiculed or bashed against lockers. He knew that Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, the two shooters, were being tormented too.
Mike Knox, a 15-year veteran on the Houston police force, and author/speaker on the subject of gang violence, was in Edmonton in April 2003 to teach high school students how to avoid a life of violence.
"In my opinion," says Knox, "bullies, thugs, and street gangsters share a perception of failure in their personal lives ... Each of these individuals wants safety, belonging and the respect of others."
Knox teaches that violence doesn't achieve any of these. In fact, violence doesn't provide for safety; it increases risk of injury. It doesn't achieve belonging; it repulses people and further isolates. And violence doesn't gain respect; it causes fear.
"People are slowly waking up to the prolonged impact of the problem - that bullies in school often grow up to be bullies in the home, abusing their spouses and children and perpetuating the downward spiral," says Peretti.
"Bullies in the home leave the house and go to work, where they continue to abuse employees and co-workers ... We might experience it at the hands of an overbearing minister, board member, policeman, or coach."
Edmonton's Sam McIntosh admits he was a bully on the road. The trucker says, "It's embarrassing when I think about the people I've scared or upset ... If people got in my way, I would lose my temper, pull up beside them, put the squeeze on them ... "[When] you see one of those big grills in your rear-view mirror, that's got to be intimidating," he says. "I used the truck as my [means of bullying]."
The roots of bullying are in human nature, Peretti says in an interview with Assist News. "It all goes back to the sinful nature of man - we're all just naturally that way."
Peretti offers this advice for those being bullied. "Number one. You are not the only one ... a lot of people get bullied and a lot of people get picked on - it does not mean that they are uniquely inferior. Everybody's different. Number two, it's not your fault. Number three, you do not have to believe anything that they say about you ... it's a lie! You have to view yourself the way Jesus views you. You're precious, you're a gift of God for a specific purpose ... And [finally], forget this idea that you're supposed to just quietly suffer, ... I say, 'Go ahead, talk about it, ... do something about it.' "
Peretti believes bullying is avoidable and healing is possible for both the victim and the bully. "The cycle can only be stopped by a change of the heart, and that is precisely the place where God's power is more than sufficient to give people a fresh start."
Peretti says, "... a right attitude toward God will bring a right attitude toward our fellowman ... when God is removed from our thoughts, our lives, our schools, our society, any evil is possible."
MacIntosh agrees, "Since God has been in my life, it's been ... a complete turnaround," he says. He's currently training to become a chaplain for Transport for Christ, hoping to help others find the answer he's found - Jesus Christ.
"With other options exhausted, many people are finally beginning to give the spiritual solution some serious thought," says Peretti.
Not only has Peretti received healing from God, he's gone on to establish a prolific writing career. Dubbed "The king of Christian fiction" by Time magazine, the 51-year-old author has sold more than 10 million books.
"I'm just fine," Peretti recently told Religion & Ethics Newsweekly. "[God] has fulfilled every promise ever made to me."
