Are there little people on your heels as you go from room to room?
For mothers of young children, solitude is a distant memory; many struggle to keep things in balance as the 'urgent' pulls and tugs from all directions. Moms aren't meant to do it all, but they tend to try to. When multi-tasking is necessary in order to get your teeth brushed and the sink scrubbed, and 'to-do' lists obstruct the bathroom mirror, it's time to take a breather.
Canadian author and speaker, Sue Augustine, recommends creating "five minute islands throughout your day." Augustine's latest book, 5-Minute Retreats for Moms (Harvest House Publishers, 2003) is loaded with suggestions for making "mommy space," ranging from moments of silence to rolling down grassy hills with the kids.
"Establishing some mommy space and time away from your children plays a tremendous role in the way you interact with them. Longing to find some
'me time' does not make you a horrible mother!" exclaims Augustine.
She adds, "It is not only a good idea to take time for self-nurturing, it is essential for staying true to yourself and carrying on with your family commitments and involvement."
Here are some of Augustine's suggestions, which show how reviving little breaks can be.
TAKE FIVE MINUTE TUNE-UPS
It's only when everything gets done that mothers feel free to take a break - after the last dish is washed, the last load in the dryer is folded and the bathrooms are sparkling clean. Yet a mother's work is never done. Augustine admonishes, don't wait until there's time 'leftover' - there won't be! Instead, take five minutes in the prime of the day to crank up the music and be-bop to your favourite tunes, or restrict outside noises with a set of headphones and soft music. Another option is for mothers to hand off their children to their spouse, and "play hooky" for an afternoon. No phones, e-mail or other work-related obligations are allowed!
GET DOWN AND DIRTY
When a small child wants you to see something, he can discern when you're only offering him half-hearted attention. Yet the child will not be dissuaded from getting your full focus. She will pat the floor, wanting you at eye level. So get down and play! Forget the tasks, advises Augustine. They will wait, but your kid won't. Remember, she will be in high school before you know it.
JUMP THE RUT
Expand your life by stepping out of your comfort zone. Learn a lesson from your children; everyday they experience brand new things, and launch fearlessly into the unknown. So dare to live outrageously! Wear red cowboy boots and a denim jacket instead of jeans and sneakers to the next family picnic. Spice up your life with a jazz CD if you normally listen to pop or country. Take a leap of faith!
BITE OFF LESS
If you are taking on more tasks than there are hours in the day, it is clearly time to re-evaluate. Besides making 'to-do' lists, decide what not to do. Free up your schedule by starting to say "no" more often. Simplify your life by prioritizing your tasks. Be content with what you have, Augustine urges, and discover creative ways to short-cut everyday chores. Don't forget to delegate whenever possible!
NURTURE YOUR NEEDS
Finally, Augustine reminds moms that the most important aspect of self-care is "keeping a balance between putting your family first and finding time to have your own needs met. It's possible to truly enjoy being a mom without sacrificing your own health, well-being and peace of mind. After all," she says, "the whole family is happier if you are happier."
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